Updated: Aug 23, 2019
This past week, I attended the NeuroLeadership Summit in NYC. During one of the breakouts, I chose to attend "Networking and Building Alliances" where Dr. Heidi Grant spoke on asking for help.
During her presentation, she referenced a recent study in which participants were asked to predict the rate at which someone would decline the request to help them. It was found that the participants underestimated people's willingness to help by 48%! This means that people were almost twice as likely to say "yes" when asked.
This number astonished me, but it also made perfect sense! How often do you desire the help of others, but are too afraid to ask, because you have already assumed that they will say no? I know that I do it weekly.
Dr. Grant highlighted four important areas in which a help-giver must understand to increase their likelihood and desire to help:
1. Help is needed- Express that you are in need of help: explicitly request it.
2. Help is wanted- Express that you desire help and the type of help you need.
3. They must help- Express they are the person you would like help from.
4. They can help- Specify in what way you need their help and how their help will impact you
These steps are simple, but will allow those you ask help from to see your need and help in the best way that they can. It can also help you ask the right questions when someone asks for help from you.